Life after 80: older Aussies weigh in on challenges of living longer

In the May edition of The Senior, we called for comment as to whether older Aussies were fed up with waiting to see the pearly gates of heaven, or not - the comment was mixed.

"It's not that we don't think about it; it has a lot to do with your kids and friends who don't want to talk about issues they find confronting," said Phil Hawkes.

"Personally, as a student of Buddhism, I recognise the transience of life even though I have mixed feelings about the concept of reincarnation!

"But quality of this life is the determining factor...why stick around, endure pain and disability, lose your mind, and so on. Why would anyone want that?"

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) said our nation has one of the highest life expectancies in the world (83.2 years in 2021).

Over the past 50 years, it's increased by 13.7 years for males (81.3 years) and by 11.2 years for females (85.4 years).

The AIHW put it down to improved medical knowledge and technology, health care availability (such as the widespread accessibility to antibiotics and vaccines), improved living conditions and overall better quality of life.

"I'm about to turn 80 and planning a big party to celebrate the next decade," said Sandy Jewell, who volunteers for several organisations.

She also coordinates mosaic workshops, teaches technology to seniors, advertises her spare room on Airbnb, heads on overseas trips, and also has a senior greyhound and toy poodle puppy who needs her "constant attention".

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Former bank executive Clyde Woods, 94, retired in 1986 at the age of 55 to become a full-time carer for his beautiful wife Dawn, who suffered from dementia. For decades Clyde got through the good days - and the bad - with his "patience, attitude and tolerance".

When Dawn died in 2018 Clyde was devastated, but he said he chose to focus his attention elsewhere by joining Probus, Rostrum (to teach public speaking) and volunteering at a local op shop.

"Nowadays I have a busy and active life. Grief passes but memories never do. Vale Dawn," Clyde said.

Doreen Hicks, 93, and her 94-year-old husband Bob have been happily married for 66 years, with three children, four grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.

Doreen said moving into a retirement complex six years ago was the best thing they could have done: "Because we don't have to feel lonely, there is always something going on and we make sure we attend as much as possible, finding the games organised exercise our brains".

"We've had a good life and travelled a lot but life had lost its excitement, although I can't realise I'm so old my body does, which prevents us from enjoying overseas trips," she told The Senior.

Not everyone was so enthusiastic.

Evie McBean admitted living longer brought "no joy" due to the "unsettled state" the world was in since COVID-19, the death of her son to suicide, crime and "exceptionally bad drivers".

"Not much inspires or motivates me," she said.

Sandra Bradley, 65, said getting older was "not a happy time" and believes 80 should be the "cut-off age" she wants to be at the pearly gates - of her own choice or sooner if her body decides.

"This has given me a perspective about how best to use the remaining 15 years I have ... I find it refreshing," Sandra said.

"When we make it acceptable for people to die by 80, then the rest of society can figure out how to manage the generations behind us. Until then, we continue to just grope in the dark about how best to live in our older years and the burden largely falls on others."

Sandra said she had been giving away her money instead of hoarding inheritance, she's holding onto important relationships but letting less important ties fall by the wayside, she's thinking about her housing needs and how that will change, as well as giving herself "permission" to do things she enjoys rather than devote time to organisations (or people) "for the sake of society's expectations".

"One of the reasons older people get frustrated when they wake up each morning not expecting to wake up is because we have taken away the honour of dying from the elderly," she said.

"We need to make it honourable for people to die and not hang on to life because their peers and social networks think it's wonderful to celebrate milestone birthdays and live to 100.

"And don't tell me people are still independent at those ages - I'm not even independent at 65. We all depend on others for something."